And 6 Months Later...

I seriously don't know how any mom working full time and raising an infant can keep up with a blog, let alone regular phone calls with family, or constant Facebook posts. I can't do any of those things.

Ayden is now 6 months old and is so amazing. I won't spend time bragging about my child, but she's so smart, beautiful, precious, talented, adorable (okay, I got it out of the way). Parents say how time flies when you have kids, and I can relate. But it also seems like she's always been in our lives in a way. Of course I still remember (and sometimes miss) not having to worry about anyone but me and have the free time to go out with friends or do whatever I wanted. I guess I've just gotten so used to her being around that I don't pay much attention to reminiscing about before she was here.

So, to catch up.... I went back to work at the end of May and Ayden started daycare at a place down the road from our neighborhood. We weren't super impressed by the place, but the staff was nice and it was within our budget, so we had to do what we had to do. Aaron and I didn't like leaving her there any longer than we needed to just because this place is kind of like a glorified babysitter rather than a "development center". They played with the babies, fed and changed them, but I could see that when she gets older, they don't have the resources to help her development the way I would prefer. I was also never given much feedback on how she was doing each day (was she fussy, playful, did she do anything new, etc). Recently, we decided to move her to a new daycare. A big difference in price, but I feel it's a big difference in quality also (thank you new job that allows us the money to move her!). She starts on the 1st of November. They even have cameras so I can spy on her anytime I want!

As far as work goes, in August I applied for a position as a Trainer and got the job. I just started about a week ago and so far it's been good. There are definitely pros and cons to this new job. It's a good increase in pay which allows us to opportunity to put Ayden in a better daycare and allow for some opportunity to pay down debt faster. It's also something I really think I'll enjoy doing (even though I did absolutely love my other job, I wanted a new challenge). On the downside, it is more travel than what I've been doing. Not too much more than my travel 2 or 3 years ago, but still, more travel. I really struggled with that part. I don't want to have to be gone days at a time, but I really felt like it is a good decision for our family. Aaron and I decided that it doesn't have to be a long term job if it's not working for us. If the travel is a struggle for us, in a year I can look for another position (or even move back into my old role on another team if there's an opening).

Aaron is still working at the hospital and was able to get a special position that allows him to work a Monday-Friday day schedule. No more 12 hour shifts with rotating days! This helps with my traveling so, when needed, he can take and pick up Ayden from daycare.

My baby girl is growing before my eyes and it's so funny how things I would've never think to get excited about, I do now. Like seeing her learn a new skill (sitting up, eating solid foods, and soon crawling). I almost can't remember how I used to spend my time before her. Oh wait, I had time to work out, grab a last-minute dinner with friends, skip out for a weekend to the beach.... among other things. But now my happiness comes from Ayden "talking" to me and watching her play with toys on the floor. Big difference, huh. I love it though.

Here is kind of a photo calendar of her first 6 months.

2 months old

 

2 1/2 months old - my Aunt Debbie made this dress (she looked so dard cute I had to include this pic)

3 months old - probably the 1st picture of her really smiling

4 months old

Almost 5 months old (this is one of my favorite pictures)

6 months old!

Being a New Mom

After almost 6 weeks of being a mom, life has sure changed. For one, it's so weird to not be working.  Even then, I feel like I have no time to get anything done, and at the same time feel like I do nothing all day. Where does the day go? Oh, I know. I hardly sleep at night, then I try to stimulate/entertain Ayden for the couple of hours she's awake in the morning. Then, I may get a total of an hour while she naps to clean up around the house before she's realized she's not being held or paid attention to so she cries. Sometimes I take a nap too. The evening brings another couple of hours that she's awake, which I may get to sneak a shower into (and get dinner going on a good day). She's actually pretty okay with being put on a blanket on the floor, but I feel like she's bored and that I need to be doing something with her. Is that a normal new mom feeling? It kind of sounds silly, but I almost feel like she's bored if I just leave her there to stare at the ceiling fan (which she does love looking at by the way). My new idea is to put her in the Baby Bjorn and carry her around with me while I get things done. On some days she'll do well in the swing for a half hour or so.
I think the biggest struggle with staying home with a newborn is being cooped up in the house. Other than the occasional trip to the store or a walk around the neighborhood, I don't get out of the house. I totally understand the post-partum depression thing. Who wouldn't get depressed when you're cut off from everything you used to do? It can get frustrating.
Aside from the sleepless nights and feeling of total isolation from the world, motherhood is pretty good. So far, there's not a better feeling than seeing my baby girl smile at me or snuggle up on my chest when she's tired. I'll commit the standard parental bias and say that Ayden is so smart! She's been able to see further than what most babies do and was following movement super early too. Now she's smiling as an emotional reaction (rather than it just being gas, haha). She's also been holding her head up very well for a few weeks now. She makes the cutest and funniest noises all the time!
Here are a few pictures of my beautiful baby girl, but there are a ton of pictures at this link: photobucket.com/aydenjeancarroll.

One day old

Ride home from the hospital

One week old

1st family picture

1st bath

One of my favorite pictures of Ayden

Delivering Our Baby Girl

It's been over two weeks since I've posted. Being a new mom definitely takes up all of your time! I've snuck a few minutes while she naps to update on the delivery and my beautiful miracle.


Ayden Jean Carroll was born on Saturday, April 7th at 2:22pm. She weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. My water broke at 5:00am on Saturday morning and a few minutes later my contractions started. I figured I'd be at home for a few more hours waiting for them to get closer together, but they were 2-3 minutes apart almost instantly. I called the doctor, and by 5:30am, we were on our way to the hospital. We called my Mom (who was staying at my aunt's) and she met us there about an hour later. Once we got to there and were set up in a room, I was dialated to a 3 and I was in full pain! Man, those contractions are no joke. I was given an epidural and after an hour I was feeling the contractions on one side so they had to give me a stronger dose. After dialating to a 6, my contractions were continuing strong and quick but I had stopped dialating. The doctor waiting 3 hours and I still had no progress. By then I had started getting very severe back pain and was back to feeling full contractions. He told me that the baby would not drop and she was most likely not positioned correctly and he recommended a c-section. That was the last thing I wanted and it took a half hour of talking to the doctor and Aaron and I talking to each other alone before we finally decided it was the best decision. It turns out it was the best decision because Adyen was "sunny side up", faced the opposite direction. Having the surgery was pretty emotional. They had to give me even more of the epidural becuase I could still feel with they did a "test cut" before opening me up. It's a pretty odd feeling to have a c-section. Once they pulled her out, they quickly held her up (and, yes, I cried) and then took her to clean her up. Aaron was so great during everything. He was supportive through labor, surgery, and after. He only left for a few seconds to cut her ambilical cord then was back at my side until I fell asleep. I was only out for maybe 10 minutes. They were still stitching me up when I woke. Once they were done, they rolled me into a room where Aaron was waiting with our baby girl.


The hospital stay was actually pretty hectic just becuase there were so many people in and out to visit. Since I had aunts and uncles in town from my grandma's funeral, there were more people that wanted to visit than we had expected. It was good to have them there to be able to meet Ayden though. I was released on Tuesday. Aaron and I were very ready to leave and go home after almost 4 days of being in a hospital room. Luckily, I had my Mom in town for 2 weeks to help out once we got home (more on that in the next post).

Last Day for an Early Delivery

So, it's Friday, April 6th - one day until my due date. This week has been kind of a rollercoaster. On Tuesday morning, my Grandma passed away. Then Tuesday afternoon, we had our weekly Dr. appointment and were told "any day now" for labor.
The doctor told us that I was dialated a 2cm, 75% effaced, and a -2 station (for those of you who know what that is). He could actually feel the baby's head during the exam! That got Aaron and I pretty anxious and thinking maybe I'd event start labor that day.
Because of my Grandma's death, I made Tuesday my last day of work so I could take the following few days as funeral leave. After finishing up with work, Aaron and I took a long walk on the greenway hoping maybe it would help trigger contractions. I was actually having regular "braxton-hicks" contractions all day and night on Tuesday. Later that night, my Mom flew in and I picked her up from the airport.
Unfortunately, I haven't had much contraction activity since then. Aaron seems to think it's because of stress, but I don't think I am  any more stressed than usual (even with everything that's happened this week).
So after walking everyday, and trying other "labor-inducing regimens", I broke down and forced 2 spoonfuls of castor oil down my throat. Yes, I did. I'm to the point that it doesn't hurt to try. I guess I'll find out in a few hours if it actually works!

Grandma Denson

After a long time on hospice, Diane Denson, my favorite grandmother, passed away on Tuesday, April 3rd 2012.
When I was a little girl living in SC, my Grandma Denson's house was the place I remember most. Between my parents spending years breaking up/making up and moving to a different house or apartment every 6 months, I loved it when we got to stay at Grandma's house. The house seemed more than large enough to fit all of the cousins, aunts/uncles, and anyone else that gathered there. It's funny how, as kids, we see things so differently (that house was actually quite small).
My siblings and I often talk about how Christmas 1987 was our favorite Christmas. We still even watch the home video every few years. That Christmas, my Mom and us kids and all of her siblings and their kids stayed at Grandma/Grandpa Denson's house. There was probably 18 people piled in that living room at some point. Grandma did everything possible to make sure we enjoyed our time there. And we always did.
I think Grandma loved having us there (as much as we probably wouldn't settle down). She was always so generous, not only with her family, but with everyone. As I got older, I saw this more and more.
When I was 18, my nephew, Kannon, was born. Grandma Denson flew out to meet her 1st great-grandson. She insisted on giving all of us kids a gift of our choice while she was there. But what I will always remember about her visit is a day we had lunch at Ruby Tuesday. LJ and I took her to lunch and she knew the Braves were playing. Out west, the Braves weren't at all a popular team, but Grandma was a huge fan (and the reason I will always have Braves love). She called the manager over and insisted he not only turn the TV channel to the game, but move the TV so she could see the game while we ate. LJ and I were so entertained by her insistance with the manager because the look on his face was priceless. I'm sure he wasn't used to an ouspoken 65-year old southern woman.
In 2005, my Mom, sisters, and I flew to SC to visit family. We spent a few days at Myrtle Beach and took Grandma with us. Nina and I made it our mission to make her comfortable on the beach. We got her a beach chair with an umbrella, some sunglasses, and sunblock. We helped her put the sunblock on and set her down in her chair in the sand. She said she'd never felt so pampered and spoiled. She was amazing like that, appriciating the smalles gestures.
My last picture I have with her is from the day I got married.

Grandma Denson was 74 years old when she passed away. I guess I can consider myself and our family lucky that we got the chance to say goodbye. The most important thing to her was her children and grandchildren. It showed in everything she did. She is my childhood memories of what a Grandma is supposed to be and I will always love and cherish her. See ya on the other side, Grandma.

Catching Up

I'm questioning whether I can keep up a blog after the baby comes since I can't even remember to write on here with everything we've had going on this month.
The last weekend in February, we got (most of) Ayden's room painted. The only thing that had to wait was sanding/painting the crown molding. That part has yet to be finished... it took 2 weeks for the putty to dry and Aaron was just able to sand it a few days ago. Hopefully sometime this week he can get it painted and we can set the room up.

My 30th birthday was on the 6th of March and since a raging party was out of the question, Aaron cooked me a nice dinner and we spent some quiet time together. Then, a few days later on Friday, he surprised me with a really unique evening. He had my friends surprise me at a place called Dish It Out. I'd never heard of it, but it's where you can paint ceramic items and they'll fire them for you. It was pretty cool. I painted a frame that I can put a group picture in and Aaron painted a plate that had "30th" on it which everyone signed. My Dad and Stacy painted the letters A-Y-D-E-N in the colors of her room which will go so cute on the wall. Overall, it was a cool idea and I really enjoyed getting to see my friends (some that I haven't seen in a long time).

The next morning, we got up super early and drove to Atlanta for my baby shower that Aaron's sister, Mom, and Aunt threw for me. Aaron went shooting and played a little raquetball with the boys. The drive there and back wasn't too bad. We made sure to stop pretty often so I could walk around. It was great seeing all of the Carroll family. Rachel did a good job of coordinating her 1st baby shower! We also went to dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse as a birthday celebration for me.

Traveling is officially over for a while. The past week has been getting things organized at work and around the house. All of the baby stuff has been piled up in the guest bedroom since we painted. This past weekend I finally got a chance to go through everything, organize baby clothes, and even return some items that we had duplicates of. Now, the only thing we are missing is the crib mattress. My dad's company has an extra discount this coming weekend so we are going to get it then.

I am down to weekly appointments at with the Doctor. Last week, he told me I am 80% effaced and 2 centimeters dialated. It surprised me and for a second I thought I would go into labor really soon. Then the Dr. told me that doesn't really mean much and it could still be a month. Either way, as long as Ayden is healthy and ready to get here, I am fine with it happening sooner rather than later. Aaron and I got a little worried becuase the Dr. wants to do an ultrasound this week. They don't order ultrasounds unless there is some concern about the baby's size or fluid. He said there's nothing for us to be worried about. He only wants to do it becuase my uterus is measuring 2 weeks ahead and he is curious to see the baby's size or if there is a large amount of amniotic fluid. I am just trying not to worry and trust that all is well. My appointment is tomorrow so I don't have to wait too much longer.

Under 7 Weeks Until Life Changes Forever!

It's sometimes hard for me to grasp that in a little over 7 weeks (give or take) that Aaron and I will be parents! We are so excited, but I would be lying if I say I'm not really nervous. It's not so much that I worry I won't know what I'm doing, it's more about the total life change that's going to happen. I know there's no total preperation for parenthood, but I'm comfortable with the idea of caring for a baby (if millions of idiots out there can raise a kid, I think I can too). What gets me a little anxious is that I know the days of "Amber time" are over. I've always been used to being able to have time to myself, and I cherish my alone time. I liked living alone when I was single, I made sure to make time for just me, and it kept me refreshed. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about Ayden coming and losing that alone time. It will just be very different.

Work is getting crazy busy. Between juggling my regular duties, the new strategies we are doing this year, and preparing an organized plan for the person covering me while I'm out... it's overwhelming. I just hope I can get everything completed in time. I was in a training for the past 2 days and when those trainings are really good, it always pumps me up to implement new ideas or start a new project. Today there are tons of ideas I have for my job but I have to remember that I can't really do any of them until I get back. I will welcome the break from work, but it will be kind of wierd. I don't even want to think about how hard it's going to be that 1st day back at work when I have to take Ayden to daycare.

Speaking of daycare, we are back to square one. The girl I was planning to have take Ayden during the week is moving to Florida where she's from. I did a lot of digging for home daycares (I like the idea of a comfortable home environment when she's that young), but 95% of them were full and the others were just not any good. Now we are looking at the more traditional daycares and learning centers, but geez, they can be expensive! We are goign tomorrow to look at one just down the street from our house. I really hope this one is good because it's so conveniently located and it has a good weekly rate. If not, there are only 2 others that fit in our price range. It's so stressful when we don't know anyone to recommend a good place that we can afford. But, I am trying to be positive and remember that it will work out how it should. Moms have said I'll know when I look at a place whether it's the right one. I wish I could use the center Kevin will be taking Kayla to, but he's got a lot more flexibility on the $$ side.

We are finally painting and setting up the nursery this weekend. I'm really excited! I've even had dreams about it the last few nice, haha. Once we get done with the last baby shower in Atlanta, I'll have an idea of what we have left to buy. By the way, whoever came up with Baby Showers is a genious. I can't imagine buying everything needed for a baby on our own. I am so blessed to have such wonderful and giving friends, family, and co-workers. I love you all!!

So, I had my 1st experience of Braxton Hicks contactions last weekend. At first I thought it was just in my head becuase I had just read about them in my pregnancy book. But once I noticed the pressure I was feeling came every 4-5 minutes, I knew it had to be real. After 4 of them I started to time them and then they just stopped. I am going to bring it up at my next check-up just make sure it's not anything to worry about.

Charlotte Baby Shower

My sister, Nina, and friends, Katey and Megan, threw me a baby shower here in Charlotte last weekend. This shower was kind of the "friend" shower since my in-laws are throwing a shower with our family members in a couple of weeks. The girls did such a great job on everything. The invitations were adorable, the decorations were cute, and it was a great time. I got a lot of items we were in need of. And the big plus was we got a lot of diapers! You can never have too many of those bad boys! It was fun to see friends I don't get to see often anymore and visit with everyone. We held the shower at my house since most of my friends haven't seen it yet and it was a good chance to have everyone visit the new place.

 

 

Aaron was out of town during the shower at a bachelor weekend in Georgia. His good friend, Kenny, is getting married in mid-March (unfortunately, I won't be attending since it's a 9 hour drive). Instead of the typical bar hopping, stripper dancing, Hangover movie style party, they opted for a hunting weekend. Aaron said he had a great time. I know he misses his "crew" boys a lot and I'm happy when he gets to see them.

So, I'm almost 33 weeks now. I was going over all the things we've got going on nearly every weekend until my due date and it seems like it's going to come so fast. But, the Dr. says the last month will drag on. I'm starting to feel so unprepared. We haven't had enough time to set up the nursery yet and actually had to schedule that into our calendar for the last weekend in February. Also, I'm so anxious to make sure we have everything we need and I can't really check everything off the list until after the last baby shower which isn't until March 10th. It kind of worries me that I'm going to be frantic those last few weeks because I'll only have 4 weeks after my last shower to make sure everything is in place. I don't think I'll get much of that "nesting" period. There just won't be time!

Either way, I know it will all be fine and work out. And hey, if we don't have every single item or the nursery isn't set up when she comes, she'll be sleeping with us the first few weeks anyway. This is what I'm telling myself to say calm :)

Utah Visit and Baby Shower

I've been back from Utah for a couple of weeks now, but I'm just getting around to updating this blog. My sister, Nina, and I flew to Utah a few weeks ago for 5 days. It was great to be able to visit since I can probably gaurantee I won't be back for a year at least.

My sister-in-law, Dhari, and my Mom threw my a baby shower while I was there. It was so great to see all of my friends, some that I haven't seen in a couple of years. My Grandma and my Aunt also came. I haven't seen my Aunt Julie since my brother's wedding almost 3 years ago. Channy (my youngest sis) made me a really cute diaper cake and I got so much cute stuff! Becuase I had to be able to fit my gifts in a suitcase, most of the gifts were clothes, blankets, and gift cards. Those gift cards got us the crib! Luckily, I was able to fit everything in the huge suitcase I brought and the duffle bag Dhari loaned me. I guess $60 in checked baggage is cheaper than shipping fees :)

 It was also my Stepdad's, Marc, birthday while I was there. We spent most of the weekend at my Mom's hanging out with family and a few close friends.

Kristina (23 weeks), Me (29 weeks), and Linsday (24 weeks)



Nina, Chantele, Dhari

My older Bro, LJ and little man, Hawkins

My Bro, Bryce and neices Kairi & Alexis

Camera Search

We really need to get a new camera. Mine broke almost a year ago and I've just never gotten a new one. I feel like I've missed out on capturing major life events over the last year - and last year was the busiest ever! Plus, I am kind of bummed I haven't been able to capture my pregnancy as much as I want. Aaron and I said we would get one together as our Christmas gift, but with having to save for the house, we never got one. We also haven't been able to totally agree on a camera or camcorder. I've done some research and I feel like having a quality camera with HD video capabilities is the best option. Aaron orginally wanted to go with a camcorder that takes pictures, but I've explained to him that those video cameras have very low quality pictures. In my research, I really found the new Nikon 1 is the best for everything we want, but since it's the "hot" camera right now, it's $600!! The standard $150-$250 digital cameras seem to be great for photos, but don't have the video/audio quality and capabilities I want. If anyone can suggest a camera with great photo and video, please let me know ASAP. I think I am going to break down and buy something before I got to Utah on Friday.

Moving and Mom's Visit

We are finally in our new house! It's been a long weekend, and we have a lot more to do, but we are moved in and mostly set up. For the past week and a half, we've slowly moved over boxes and extra clothes. Last Tuesday, Aaron brought the bed over and then on Friday, my Dad and Aaron moved over the rest of the furniture. By Saturday, all we had left to do was clean the old apartment and unpack the last few boxes.

My mom flew in early Friday morning and it has been non-stop ever since. We got everything moved and most of the downstairs unpacked and set up by Friday night. My back was killing me by the end of the day, and I was even taking it easy. Saturday and Sunday we cleaned the old apartment, spent time with my grandma and aunt/uncle/cousins, and ran a lot of errands.

It worked out great that we were able to move in on a long holiday weekend. And having my Mom here was a big help. Now we just need to set up the guest bathrooms and then start decorating a little. We plan to get new furniture sometime over the next year and I want to hold off on painting or decorating until we pick out new furniture. I fly out to Utah next weekend and once I get back, it's time to decorate the baby's room.

I had a check-up and glocose test today. I have gained about 20 pounds and 10 inches around my waist. Aaron has been measuring me since about 23 weeks along. I still have about 2 1/2 months to go! Some women say the baby will be here before I know it, but I still feel like pregnancy takes forever. Now that we're in the house, I'm already anxious to get her room set up. We got some paint samples yesterday.

I will try and post some pictures of the house soon. Other than my phone, we still don't have a camera.

Goodbye 2011!

So, Aaron and I have asked several couples with small children what they did for New Year's Eve, and they all said they were in bed before midnight. Is this what we have to look forward to now that we will have a child? What do people with kids do on NYE these days? I hate the thought that every new year from now on will be spent sitting on the couch watching TV while the kids and I fight to stay awake past midnight.

We had planned to go to a friend's house party on the lake for NYE, but I caught Aaron's cold and was feeling horrible on Saturday. So we had to break plans with 3 other couples that were coming with us (I felt really bad about that) and we stayed home. We picked up a pizza and a movie and planned to watch the ball drop together and go to bed.  But... Aaron decided that since we weren't doing anything significant, he was going to bed early. He was asleep by 11:30pm and I laid in bed watching TV until about 12:30am. We vowed that next year we would not be sitting at home, and then I reminded him that it will be next to impossible to find a sitter on NYE. Welcome to parenthood!

I am very thankful for what a blessed (and busy) year 2011 was. Aaron and I got enganged, got married, got pregnant, found a house to buy, got Aaron a new car, and much more. Even though life has moved so fast recently, I am very happy with all of it. My hope for 2012 is that Aaron finds a jobs that is more satisfying for him and is right for our family. He is getting frustrated that he cannot get a job in law enforcement, and where he is now is not giving him any opportunity to grow or make more money. Of course, I am also looking forward to little Ayden being here this year.

This month will be very busy too. We close on the house on the 4th. My mom will be in town on the 13th and will be helping us move/unpack a little. I fly to Utah on the 20th to visit family and have a baby shower. Then, when I get back, it will be time to focus on getting Ayden's room set up. That will be fun. :)